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  • September 3rd, 2020


By Joel M. Vance



So Donald Trump wants to debase and deface Mount Rushmore by adding his face to that of the four presidents already there. There’s room next to George Washington for him and room for Mike Pence next to Lincoln on the other side.


I have a couple of suggestions: why not carve the two evil ones where they want to be and then rent drilling equipment and donate many cases of dynamite to the Lakota Sioux and let them punch holes in the brows of the six (hate to lose Lincoln and Teddy, but freedom has its price), load the holes with dynamite and let the tribal chiefs press the button that will fire the shot heard round the world.


Or, conversely, carve the two Demons in Chief on Stone Mountain in Georgia next to the Confederate memorial already there and donate the afore mentioned drilling equipment and dynamite to Black Lives Matter, drill holes, load up, and shoot the moon.


This is the man, Trumpsters, that you support at his articulate best speaking on the problem of homelessness. “It’s a phenomena that started two years ago. It’s disgraceful. I’m going to maybe— and I’m looking at it very seriously— we’re doing some other things that you probably noticed like some of the very important things that we’re doing now. But we’re looking at it very seriously, because you can’t do that— it’s inappropriate. Now, we have to take the people and do something. We have to do something.”


 (It’s “phenomenon”, you dolt, but then so are you)


Anyone digesting this word mush from an interview with Tucker Carlson (and anyone listening to Tucker Carlson in the first place already is suffering an overdose of word mush) who still believes that Donald Trump possesses the remnants of an adult brain does deserve a memorial to him and I have a suggestion.


Wouldn’t it be cheaper and more appropriate, if they want to memorialize him in stone, to rent a bulldozer and push up a pile of rubble at the base of a former West Virginia mountain leveled by coal mining? Trump’s base could hold Ku Klux Klan rallies there and the upside would be that since they are already masked, they might actually be semi-protected from Covid 19.


Ivanka Trump, Donnie’s favorite Barbie doll, says she has seen “the pain in his eyes” when he’s told about the latest Covid 19 statistics. I have a feeling that what she mistakes as “pain” is “lust”. He’s even admitted in the past that if she weren’t his daughter he probably would be dating her. Parental pride is one thing, not only admitting to, but bragging about, romantic longing for your children is downright spooky.


Trump’s long history with allegations of dubious treatment of women is well documented and apparently extends, by his own words, to his own family.


We can expect for the next few weeks until November 3 to endure a constant barrage of pro-Trump campaign rhetoric to the effect that a Biden presidency would be an apocalyptic disaster. He already speaks of a Biden chaotic America as if it were already here. He seems to be speaking of the multiplying disasters of his own administration as if they belong to the person who probably will succeed him and will be tasked with fixing what he has inherited. Trump has spent the last nearly four years blaming Barack Obama for everything wrong in his own administration and claiming credit for everything right that existed when he took over.


The Republican National Committee recently issued a video with the narrator saying “this is a taste of Biden’s America,”  showing a bright fire and a person running across the screen holding a baton. “The rioting, the crime, freedom is at stake now and this is going to be the most important election of our lifetime.” says the narrator. The only problem with the video which also has been posted on Trump’s YouTube outlet is that it was taken a year ago in Spain and has nothing to do with any protest in the United States.  The only accurate part of the video is that, yes, it is going to be the most important election of our lifetime.


Trump points to the stock market as the indicator of a wonderful economy, ignoring the fact that he inherited a booming stock market which began in the Obama administration after a near cataclysmic debacle under the previous Republican administration of George W. Bush. And let’s forget the stock market as an indicator of national economic health—most people don’t own stock and measure their economic well-being by having a job that pays a living.


Unemployment is about three times greater than it was when Trump took over, the small business segment of the economy is teetering on the brink of collapse, the agricultural segment is suffering and the overall economic picture is of an oligarchy, owned by the rich at the expense of the poor.


And yet Trump expects the poor to line up on election day and vote for four more years of him. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a campaign ad reading “vote for Trump—my name is God and I approved of this message“. Trump already is annointing himself as God’s chosen (I thought we already had one of those).


It absolutely boggles my mind that evangelicals can continue to support this human trash given his multiple highly visible unChristian thoughts and actions.


Trump has been busy recently, touring the rubble left by the nation’s latest catastrophes. He surveyed the open wound left by Hurricane Laura in Louisiana and did everything but wave an imaginary magic wand. Wearing his inevitable MAGA hat, he assured the devastated Cajuns that “we will supply what we have to supply, you know what a lot of that is, a thing called green.” Presumably, he meant money, although he later supposedly was joking when he told some of the rescue workers that maybe he could sell his autograph for $10,000 a pop. Given his mega monomaniacal personality disorder, it’s entirely possible he was dead serious.


And then he went to Kenosha, Wisconsin, against the express displeasure of the state’s governor and the city’s mayor that he stay the hell home. Muttering further insanity, he claimed there had been a plane full of “thugs” garbed in black, headed to Kenosha to foment violence. The Fomenter-in-Chief was him of course because that is his only remaining campaign strategy—to bring the nation to the brink of Civil War in hopes that anguished voters somehow will be convinced that only he can wave his magic wand, sell  enough autographs and keep the thug planes grounded and thus make everything all cozy again.


The man clearly is insane.


One of the more egregious anti-Christian acts by self-styled Christians is the effort by a Christian fundraising outfit to raise money for the defense of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17 year old gunslinger from Illinois whose mother drove him and an AR 15 to Kenosha where he proceeded to kill two people and wound a third.  Trump says Rittenhouse was defending himself and would have been killed had he not heroically mowed three people down with his illegal gun, provided him from a mother’s love.


The “Christian” fundraisers say “Kyle Rittenhouse just defended himself from a brutal attack by multiple members of the far left  group ANTIFA. According to his Christian supporters, he was forced to take two lives to defend his own.”  As I write, the group has raised about $100,000, no doubt from ardent Christians who believe they are doing God’s work in defending a crazy whacked out kid with a record of drug abuse and delusions that he is a patriotic defender of law enforcement.


You never realize the credibility of human beings until some super con man comes along and bands them together in a fawning crowd of supporters who forgive any faults or inconsistencies. It’s one thing to whoop and holler for Elvis or Frank Sinatra or the Beatles—that’s harmless— but to do it for someone who can theoretically destroy the world is a scary thought.


We’ve had charlatans before but Trump trumps them all. Fraudulent doctor John R. Brinkley back in the nineteen thirties proposed to restore the virility of men by transplanting goat nuts into them. In the nineteen forties and fifties, Cajun con man Dudley LeBlanc hawked the therapeutic virtues of Hadacol which was 12 percent alcohol and certainly made those who bought and chugged it feel better temporarily. But so does bathtub gin containing wood alcohol until it kills you.


I don’t see a whole lot of difference in the Trump family and the Mafia “Family”. It’s significant to me that half of the dozen keynote speakers at the recent Republican convention were Trump family members. I’m pretty sure that no Democratic presidential nominee in modern history, dating at least to the FDR administration, had family members keynoting the conventions that nominated them. For that matter, neither have the Republicans until Trump. He is one-of-a-kind and we can only thank God for that.


FDR famously said that “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. Fear is the cornerstone of Trump’s reelection strategy—create nasty fear that to elect Joe Biden would be to bring on the Apocalypse. Trump will be hammering that from now until election day –that a Biden presidency will be one of riot, a plunging economy and blood in the streets.  This is, Trump repeatedly trumpets, Biden’s America. It’s all he has. The Republican Party doesn’t even pretend to offer a platform. It has no ideas other than to scare the crap out of voters in hopes that fear will keep them from the polls, or confuse them into voting for the likes of Kanye West or Mickey Mouse or, if all else fails, accept help from Russia, Iran, or anyone else willing to aid in the downfall of Democracy. Trump threatens to send law enforcement to the polls to ensure no voter fraud, but isn’t that a veiled threat to intimidate voters?


Trump and Stephen Miller the weasel faced Heinrich Himmler of Trump world have adopted fomenting street violence as a campaign strategy. They feel that the more civic unrest they can endorse will be good for Trump’s candidacy as a self proclaimed “law and order” president. The fact that it is the President himself who is praising right wing rioters as “great patriots” should be enough to convince anyone with the faintest doubt that he is nothing but a lynch mob agitator. Kellyanne Conway, the Wicked Witch of the West Wing, came right out and said that the more unrest in the streets, the better for Trump. She is leaving the Trump camp to focus on family, she says. Does that include a family of flying monkeys?


Shouldn’t it be painfully obvious even to the most dense of his addled supporters that the end of times inevitabilities that he predicts are already here? We are trying to survive, not in a future Biden America, but in the present which is Trump’s America. The rioting, the plunging economy, the blood in the streets is leaking from the circulatory systems of peaceful protesters now as is the money from the wallets of middle-class America.


Benjamin Franklin said it long ago “we must hang together or most assuredly we will all hang separately.” And, in 1858 Abraham Lincoln famously said “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” He was speaking of slavery and went on to say “I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free. It will become all one thing or all the other.”


Just two years later and for five more incredibly bloody years, the nation fought to resolve the question that Lincoln had raised. Much of today’s unrest is an echo of that same situation and if the solution is for a white cop to shoot an unarmed black man seven times in the back, we have not come as far from Abraham Lincoln as a  “law and order” president would have you believe.


This began as a blog about Trump’s fantasy of joining the faces on Mount Rushmore but has devolved in the morass of Trumpian insanity. It’s like quicksand—each step toward escape only makes you sink further into the muck.


United States of America is not united now.  We are in desperate danger of becoming a Humpty Dumpty society so fractured that all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put us together again. The King, of course, would be the wannabe king Donald Trump. Rather than him as the self proclaimed king, I’d prefer to see him as the shattered fragments of President Dumpty.

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1 Comment

  1. Paul F. Vang

    September 7th, 2020 at 1:42 pm


    The only way Trump will get his face on Mt. Rushmore is if he bails out of Air Force One and does a face plant on the mountain..

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