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  • December 12th, 2019

TOILET THOUGHTS

By Joel M. Vance

A petition signed by 350 psychiatrists and other mental-health professionals claims that President Donald Trump’s mental health is deteriorating rapidly “We are convinced that, as the time of possible impeachment approaches, Donald Trump has the real potential to become ever more dangerous, a threat to the safety of our nation,” said Drs. Bandy Lee, a Yale psychiatrist, Jerrold Post, a former CIA profiler, and John Zinner, a psychiatrist at George Washington University.

 

I’ve posted it before, but it’s worth repeating the Mayo Clinic definition of a sociopath: “Disregard for right and wrong, Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others, Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others, Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure, Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated, Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior, Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty, Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead, Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence, Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others, Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others, Poor or abusive relationships, Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them, Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations.”

 

Do we see a description here of someone we have grown to observe and loath through the past three plus years? Did the Mayo folks put a clinical microscope on the Sociopath in Chief and write a description based on what they saw? It’s one thing to laugh at a person who complains about not having enough water to flush his golden toilet; it’s quite another to be saddled with a sociopathic president—actually, it’s downright terrifying.

 

There is an old country saying about people with erratic mental behavior, namely that so-and-so is “crazy as a shit house rat.” The little house out back, referred to, is a relic of the past, celebrated in song by Billy Ed Wheeler. “They passed an ordinance in the town/they said we’d have to tear it down/that little shack out back so dear to me.” Unfortunately, the only applicable ordinance that can relegate Donald Trump to the status of former president is the Constitution of the United States which outlines conditions for his removal from office. The fact that 250 mental health professionals say he’s nuts, and his own rambling and goofy statements about almost everything , amply demonstrate the truth of their conclusion, isn’t enough to send him scurrying from the White House like a rat from the little house out back.

 

(The song in question is the “Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back” written by Wheeler in the nineteen sixties and sung by him and the wonderful Bobby Bare—two guys who, like me, spent part of their  childhood combating droning yellowjackets and reading the Sears and Roebuck catalog.)

 

Small people with a similar mental development to Donald J Trump used to chant “rain rain go away/come again some other day!” At least kids in olden times knew how to deal with unwanted water. Trump is bumfuzzled by that stuff called rain. “For the most part you have many states where they have so much water, it comes down— it’s called rain. They don’t know what to do with it.” This indicates to me that the average kindergarten child, faced with a rainy day, has a firmer grip on reality than does the president of the United States.

 

Trump’s comments on water came recently at a meeting with small business owners in which he railed at the recommendations for water conservation, passed during the George HW Bush administration which, according to the Fat Boy in Chief, present a toilet difficulty that has him confused. By now, anyone who is paying attention to the confused and largely incoherent ravings of the tangerine colored Idiot in Chief, knows that (I’m talking about Donald J Trump) the Clown in Chief maintains that water conservation makes it necessary to flush the toilet 10 to 15 times a day to make everything go away. Would that it were so easy to flush away Trump and his supporters— I would gladly sacrifice precious water to make that happen.

 

Actually, water conservation in toilets limits capacity of the reservoir to a gallon and a half which, if the toilet is operating correctly, will flush all the stuff to an appropriate waste management system. The reservoir then refills automatically to the correct level. But then Trump, not qualified even to be a plumber’s helper, wouldn’t know that.

 

Trump also complained that low flow water conservation appliances limit the water available from faucets for handwashing to a trickle. “You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water. They take a shower of water come dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out.” The answer, Trump maintains, is to loose his environmental regulation-gutting attack dogs. “We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on— and areas where there is a tremendous amount of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don’t get any water.” If you are able to decipher this incoherent statement, more power to you, but to me it is merely one more example of Trump being Trump—which is to say the equivalent of turning a 4-year-old loose in a room full of conservationists with a live hand grenade.

 

The Orange Julius in Chief also took the occasion to unload on energy efficient light bulbs. He maintains that they are unflattering to his noble visage. “They got rid of the lightbulb that people got used to.” He said. “The new bulb is many times more expensive. And I hate to say it, it doesn’t make you look as good. Of course, being a vain person, that’s a very important to me. It gives you an orange look. I don’t want an orange look.” Sorry, Jocko, too late.

 

The mistake we all are making is focusing on the inanities of Trump, the ludicrous statements that give the late-night comedians more material that they can use, while ignoring the statements and actions Trump makes and takes that have dire implications for the future of the country.

 

His dismissal of climate change as a hoax, his cozying up to the world’s most despicable dictators, his overall ignorance of diplomacy, his dismantling of environmental regulations (some of the best of which—clean water, clean air, the Environmental Protection Agency— were established by a Republican administration), his assaults on progressive programs such as Social Security and Medicare, all conspire to define a person who cares little about the requirements of his office.

 

While he was nattering about not having enough water to soak his stubby little fingers, he also was chatting cozily with the Russian Foreign Minister at the very moment the United States House of Representatives was poised to impeach his porky ass. While any thinking environmentalists will ridicule his stupid statements about water conservation, light bulbs and his big brain, the United States Senate, dominated by Republicans, almost certainly will quickly exonerate Trump and as the environmentalists mourn, Vladimir Putin will rejoice.

 

Daniel Larison, senior editor at The American Conservative magazine, not exactly a liberal publication, had this to say about impeaching Trump, “Members of the House have been given a simple test of their fidelity to the Constitution. Are they enablers of presidential abuse of power and corruption, or will they do what their oaths of office require of them and hold a corrupt president in check?”

 

Saddest of all, a third of the voting population of the United States is depressingly likely to reelect Trump and give the other two thirds of thinking people the agony of four more years of him and his evil acolytes dismantling the foundation of the Republic. Make no mistake about it— this man is a dangerous demagogue and a would-be dictator. He is mentally unbalanced and unmoved by common decency.

 

Anyone who posts on Facebook is inviting vilification of the type usually reserved for restroom walls, and that includes me. A woman named Marly Borup recently posted a spirited defense of Trump and all that he represents. Her Facebook photo shows her cradling a humongous walleye, proving that she is far and away a better angler than I am. But I have to question whether or not she has studied Donald Trump’s history with women, and if so, how she could, in all conscience, defend the Groper in Chief. Trump is far beyond the most misogynistic human ever to occupy the White House— he brags about it, preening like a stud horse in a stable full of fillies. Regardless of what he considers himself, he is not the dream guy of most women’s dreams. He is the nightmare. Apparently he believes not only can he shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it; he also can molest any woman who captures his fantasy and be  absolved if not lauded for wrongdoing by his sheepbrained faithful.

 

Marly generated some negative feedback for her comments endorsing Trump and it’s entirely possible I will get the same for mine. So be it. As  Rhett Butler so succinctly put it to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

 

Try this for a reality check: take the statement below into the bathroom where you can speak resonantly against the hard tiled walls, as if you were declaiming to an ardent Trump rally audience. Be sure you don’t let the children hear you, especially the words, because child-abuse is a crime. Read the words aloud and listen carefully to what you are saying.

 

Going way back to the beginning of his 2016 campaign, Trump said “you know what else they say about my people? The polls they say I have the most loyal people. Did you ever see that? Where I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay? It’s like incredible.”

 

I hope that the Secret Service doesn’t loan out any of its sidearms to the person whom they are pledged to protect, especially if that person is likely to run into Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton or Adam Schiff on Fifth Avenue.

 

After you finish your bathroom aria, repress your revulsion and reenter the world of reality.

 

And don’t forget to flush 15 times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. CJ

    December 13th, 2019 at 2:32 pm

    Reply

    Too much to say about him these days. Glad you do!



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