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  • March 4th, 2012

The 3,000-Year-Old Man

By Joel  M. Vance

I’ve known for years that Rush Limbaugh is a bottom feeder, a disgrace to the human race, a bigoted, draft-evading, Oxycontin-swigging slob.   Now we find that his Neanderthal attitudes toward women are even more obnoxious than we suspected.  He called a young, articulate and intelligent Georgetown University law student a “slut and a prostitute” and suggested that she should film her sex experiences and post them on the internet for his enjoyment.

Rush Limbaugh is the cherished mouthpiece of the ignorant and bigoted.   He speaks their corrupted and warped view of the truth, no matter how outrageously he lies.  Instead of calling him the chauvinist pig that he is, the right wing leaders either stay silent or damn him with faint praise.  Rick Santorum, the right’s religious Messiah, said Limbaugh is an “entertainer” and entertainers say outrageous things, as if that excuses him.  No, he’s not Don Rickles, insulting for comic effect.  Limbaugh is a political commentator and he should be held accountable for his inflammatory language.

                Predictably the nation’s women are outraged  (and any woman who isn’t should have a sex change operation and join the ranks of the Neanderthal fat white guys who think, if you can dignify their mental processes as actual thought, like Limbaugh).

                Ms. Sandra Fluke had the audacity to volunteer to testify before a Senate committee chaired by Daryl Issa, a right wingnut who loaded the committee with a bunch of religious zealots….and no women.  Issa refused to give her a chance to tell the misogynist mindless old farts he did invite in the woman’s side of the contraception issue.   The committee purportedly was examining the provision in the federal health care law which would require health care providers to offer free contraceptives to women.  Instead it was manifestly reaffirming its hidebound philosophy of male dominance over women. 

                Ms. Fluke however, did testify in front of a House committee, ruled by Democrats and that’s what jerked Limbaugh’s chauvinistic chain.  The old lion came roaring off his kingly throne (perhaps a toilet seat) to accuse Ms. Fluke of wanting to be paid to have sex.  That is not what she recommended at all, nor did she imply it.  But hell, Rush never bothered with facts before.  Neither did his bombastic confrere Bill O’Reilly who echoed the Rushter and said if tax dollars should pay for contraception, it should have paid for his football equipment.

                If O’Reilly went to a public school, chances are tax dollars did pay for his helmet, although judging from his personality he must have played most games without one.

                As Ms. Fluke said, some 14 percent of women who use contraceptives do so because of a medical condition that requires their use and has nothing to do with preventing conception.  In other words they would be denied prescribed treatment or have to pay for it (and you know how pharmaceutical companies rip off people for non-generic medication).

                She cited a classmate who needed birth control for ovarian cysts.  Pharmacists refused her, she couldn’t pay $100 for pills, quit taking them, developed a cyst, had to have an ovary removed and now  shows signs of early menopause.   Perhaps Ms. Fluke made that story up….but I doubt it.  Too easy to disprove.

                Ms. Fluke was not begging for someone to pay for her bedroom fun—she was specific in asking help for women who need the pill for medical conditions, not for pregnancy prevention.  Limbaugh, rather than backing down, continued to attack Ms. Fluke as someone who, in his words, has so much sex she wants someone else to pay for it.  What a disgusting and outright false statement.  His prurience has no bounds.

                Limbaugh is no stranger to comments that, in the olden times which he represents would have had him covered in tar and feathers, and straddling a rail en route out of town.  Sure he has the right under the First Amendment to say just about any revolting thing he wants, including calling women “ugly dogs” and “Feminazis” and “sluts.”   But we don’t have to buy the products of the companies that glut his bank account and we don’t have to roll over and let him shovel shit on us as human beings either.  Make him pay for his hate.

                Missouri has produced some stellar citizens—Walt Disney, Gen. Omar Bradley, President Harry S Truman and many others.   But when we screw up we do it big time.  Limbaugh is one example, Sen. Roy Blunt is another.  Under a bill proposed by Sen. Blunt, another Missourian as is Limbaugh (and, oh God, I’m so ashamed of them) would allow employers to refuse coverage of medical procedures  on the grounds of moral conviction which would open the door to killing just about any health care insurance: “You want to make a claim for breast cancer treatment?  Oh, no—those are sexual glands and coverage would be against our moral convictions.”  Prostate treatment: “Hey, you know where that gland has been.  Sorry.”

                Rush and his Trogloditian ilk are about 3,000 years behind the times.  The first condoms appeared three millineums before Jesus, and the first female contraceptive, a form of pessary, dates to 1,850 years before Christ.  Those first devices to prevent pregnancy sometimes were fashioned from crocodile dung (which could be a description of Rush Limbaugh). 

                The idea that preventing conception is murder is ludicrous.   Barring a sperm from fertilizing an egg is commonsense for anyone who doesn’t want an untimely baby and more than nine of 10 women today opt for some means of doing that at least part of their child-bearing years.   The concept of sex only for procreation is as outdated as the belief that the earth is flat.   People, being people, are going to have sex and a tidal wave of unwanted babies should be repulsive to any rational person.  Celibacy, aspirin tablets between the knees, “just say no” never have worked and never will. 

                The fusty old white guys in legislative bodies who howl about a war on religion or want, like Roy Blunt, to give employers the right to deny  health care for almost anything on ephemeral moral grounds are worse than useless.  We all know, whether we admit it or not, that most legislators today are venal bastards in thrall to moneyed interests (Blunt is passionately beholden to Big Tobacco and Big Oil).

                So you have state and federal right wingers trying to mandate invasive and mandatory lab procedures whether doctor-recommended and woman welcomed or not, and to deny birth control or force women to pay for something that should eagerly be provided for free.  And these same yahoos rail against “government intervention” in private lives.  If requiring a vaginal probe isn’t a monumental government intervention, I don’t know what is. 

                The old song “Whatever Lola Wants” has been corrupted by the right wing to “Whatever Rush Wants.”  He is the serpent in the tree, whispering poisonous nonsense to these dimwits and they sniff at his bulky tail end like a dog in heat, hanging on every poisonous word as if it were writ in stone.  Limbaugh—the four-time-married (no kids either…you don’t suppose those wives are using contracep…..no, surely not), porky, draft evading and drug addicted mouth that roared.  What a role model for stand-up guys. 

                Mitt Romney, the probable Republican candidate for President of the United States, said tremulously, “It’s not the language I would have used.”  Well, Mitt, what language would you have used, you wimpy excuse for a would-be world leader? 

                Republican leaders ran for the bushes like frightened squirrels, none doing what a decent man would do which was to apologize to the young woman, call Rush out for his filthy mouth and call for the nation to come together and quit the vicious attacks on anyone who doesn’t agree with his position.  Perhaps there are no decent men right of center anymore.  There used to be.  Can you imagine any Republican leader until about 1994 standing for the kind of incendiary rhetoric so many of today’s radical right considers necessary?

Limbaugh didn’t even get the first name of Ms. Fluke right and maybe that’s a clever way to avoid a lawsuit for slander: “Hey, I wasn’t talking about her, just some mythical other slut named Fluke.”  But I doubt Limbaugh is smart enough to think that way.  He makes his obscene living trashing real people and banking on them not fighting back.  That’s what fat bullies do.  But he may well have finally put his foot in it with someone who has both the means and the raison d’etre to fight back.  Ms. Fluke is a law student and calling a decent college student a slut and a prostitute on 600 radio stations and to 200 million listeners looks like a pretty strong case of slander.

                I hope she sues Limbaugh’s fat ass right off the planet.  It’s way past time for him to share some of his grimy millions with reputable human beings.

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1 Comment

  1. Carrie Jo

    March 18th, 2012 at 4:46 pm


    Amen, Joel Vance!!!!!!! I’m forwarding this blog to the boys and to anyone else who will listen!

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